Sunday, August 21, 2011

Welcome, victims.

"You want me to have sex with you and have your children? But you want your friend to have sex with me first to loosen me up?"

"He worked my cunt like a piston in a V-12 Jag."

"Your lifting up that wet T-shirt and pulling a tuna can out of your bra is one of the sexiest moves I've ever seen, either on-screen or off."

"She played with him, her fingertips lightly stroking, kneading, sliding back the soft hood to feel the dampening tip. The flesh leaped in her palm, like some blind burrowing animal."

"She felt like a slow match soaked in lime and sparked by red-hot steel. She shut her eyes again as something inside her began to burn. Ignited by his unexpected and intimate kiss the inner match sizzled with gathering brightness and heat. Its core seemed to be in her belly, but the long, sparkling fuse of passion radiated in a hundred divergent directions, touching all of her with scintillating warmth."

Sadly, these are all quotes from published books. How they managed to get published, I'll never know. On this blog, I'll be subjecting myself to some of the worst the romance novel scene has to offer. All for your amusement, of course. Hopefully, I may have some less cringe-worthy ones, but who knows? Where's the fun in that, anyway?

These posts will be full of spoilers, speculation, and incredulity, but I doubt you would be reading these books yourself to begin with. I hope you wouldn't inflict such things upon your sanity, at least. As for myself... Well, maybe I'm being a literary masochist. I will take request for books at some point, so that should be fun.

My name is Aubrey, and I suppose it's nice to meet you. I may have a few personal posts every so often, but I'll try to keep the focus on the books. I'm not sure if anyone will be interested in my particular brand of humor, but c'est la vie.

No comments:

Post a Comment